Discover Your Core Values

When we become aware of our core values, we can gain the ability to use them intentionally rather than being unknowingly driven by them. Consider the following core values exercise. (To complete this exercise you will need a list of at least 50 core values or a deck of core values cards)

Step 1: Sort Core Values

In this first step you will sort core values into four different piles:

• Matters Most to Me

• Matters Some to Me

• Does Not Matter to Me

• Values I Wish I had, but Don't

While sorting it is import to ask yourself these questions:

• Does this values feel like me?

If you are uncertain or become uncertain if it feels like you ask these clarifying questions:

• If I lived this value how would I feel?

• If i didn't not live this value how would I feel?

Some values may seem similar, but once you ask yourself these questions your alignment will become more clear.

Step 2: Narrow Down to 10

Here you will narrow the core values down to ten. If it becomes difficult reflect on the previous questions or ask this question:

• Which values feels the most like me?

Step 3: Narrow Down to 5

Refine down by asking your self the previous questions. Here you will likely start to notice some overlap between core values.

Step 4: Narrow Down to 3

Test each of the top five in this form to narrow it down to three:

• If I had __________, but did not have __________ how would I feel?

Asking yourself this question will reveal what is most important to you and clarify the relationship between your core values. Like I said previously, "Some values orient us. Some values shape how we express ourselves. And some values regulate and integrate the system as a whole."

You will know that you have your top three when you can look as them and say: "This is me!" When you narrow it down to three you will likely experience a deep exhale and an increased sense of identity (or at least that is what i noticed in myself and with clients that have done this exercise).

Step 5: Values I Wish I had, but Don't

This is the step where true integration and congruence can begin. With each value you had put into Values I Wish I had, but Don't I want you to ask yourself this question:

• With my top three values how can i create __________?

After asking this question you will look at your top three values and determine what combination of them can create the values you wish you had.

(There is a secret to this part that I will not tell you, you have to discover it for yourself. I believe you will like what you discover, so give this exercise a try!)